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11-Feb-2017 22:53

While these days we older women are healthy, slim and fit, most men of the same age have diabetes, dicky hearts and high blood pressure.

I tactfully ignored the gradual revelation of the sunken grey hairy chest, the pallor of ageing flesh and the stick-thin legs. He started to put packets of pills by his bedside table. His first words of love were: 'Do you know about these elusive particles called neutrinos?

Upon returning, he allegedly saw Joyce sexually molesting the girl in her private area.

The caregiver pulled Joyce and began beating him, the sheriff office said in a news release.

Most older married couples are, I suspect, much like Alma and Alfred Hitchcock in the new film about the master of suspense — sleeping miles apart in single beds with their pyjamas buttoned up to the neck.

In the film Hitchcock, he and Alma never touch, let alone make love.

I tactfully ignored the gradual revelation of the sunken grey hairy chest, the pallor of ageing flesh and the stick-thin legs. He started to put packets of pills by his bedside table. His first words of love were: 'Do you know about these elusive particles called neutrinos?

Upon returning, he allegedly saw Joyce sexually molesting the girl in her private area.

The caregiver pulled Joyce and began beating him, the sheriff office said in a news release.

Most older married couples are, I suspect, much like Alma and Alfred Hitchcock in the new film about the master of suspense — sleeping miles apart in single beds with their pyjamas buttoned up to the neck.

In the film Hitchcock, he and Alma never touch, let alone make love.

So to all over-60s who boast of having their best sex ever, I would say (a) I don’t believe you, and (b) even if you are, please keep it to yourself and think of the rest of us, tucked up in bed alone at 9pm, our only excitement coming from the latest paperback thriller.