Ask the dating doyenne

26-Nov-2016 13:31

A guiding principle about what to bring begins with simply asking the host.

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”“I think she would have thought all of it was so cool,” guesses Lizzie Post, her great-great-granddaughter and current mantle carrier of the etiquette doyenne’s legacy at the Emily Post Institute in Vermont.If you are so compelled beyond the specific instructions, Post suggests something seasonal that may not be for the evening, like a jam or preserve or the perennial bouquet of flowers (already in a vase). Host: If any of your guests love you at all, they will Instagram the dickens out of the evening you so carefully and flawlessly executed so that friends of friends will quake with envy after finding you on the “Explore” page.But there is a time and place for all of this when actual sentient beings are together, which is to say: keep your phone away for the better part of the evening and certainly while you’re at the table.Host: Any party worth going to will have a well-stocked bar, which means the chance of someone overdoing it is possible, if not very likely. Look to our nation’s Cold War policy of yore: containment. “Put them in a room and offer to keep them for the night.It’s really a safety issue,” says Post, adding that you are more or less taking on that responsibility when you serve alcohol in your house.

”“I think she would have thought all of it was so cool,” guesses Lizzie Post, her great-great-granddaughter and current mantle carrier of the etiquette doyenne’s legacy at the Emily Post Institute in Vermont.If you are so compelled beyond the specific instructions, Post suggests something seasonal that may not be for the evening, like a jam or preserve or the perennial bouquet of flowers (already in a vase). Host: If any of your guests love you at all, they will Instagram the dickens out of the evening you so carefully and flawlessly executed so that friends of friends will quake with envy after finding you on the “Explore” page.But there is a time and place for all of this when actual sentient beings are together, which is to say: keep your phone away for the better part of the evening and certainly while you’re at the table.Host: Any party worth going to will have a well-stocked bar, which means the chance of someone overdoing it is possible, if not very likely. Look to our nation’s Cold War policy of yore: containment. “Put them in a room and offer to keep them for the night.It’s really a safety issue,” says Post, adding that you are more or less taking on that responsibility when you serve alcohol in your house.Even if it is not a seated dinner, it is not a barn raising.